The stories will eventually come but here are some tips...
- Never eat yellow snow
- When hiking never follow someone who had asparagus to eat. (or beans or ...)
- If you are the one who had asparagus, or beans or brocolli and someone asks, "What's that smell", in your best authoritative voice, explain it's "that season" for the plant life.
- Don't feed ANY wild animals unless they show their money first.
- If you drop your food on the ground, kissing it up to the heavens will make it better, then trade with a friend and don't tell them.
- When hiking where there are a lot of wild animals, make sure you hike with someone that runs slower than you.