[stevenbrockman]

Congratulations on the cute jokes I am your unconditional fan. professional carpet cleaner

 

[Babstreefern]

A German lorry driver in a pub in Newcastle is gobbing off how lazy British truck drivers are. He's bragging that he drives his load from Hamburg, goes through Holland, Belgium up to Newcastle and back to Hamburg in just two days.

This old Geordie man mutters up, "Ah, way ay I used to pickup me load in Newcastle, drop off in Hamburg and be back in Newcastle for a fish and chip supper the same day".The gobby German trucker said, " Oh yah, vot rig were you driving then?"

After taking long swig of his Pint of Newcastle Brown, the old fella replied "It was a Lancaster bomber."

 

[Babstreefern]

FIRST DAY AS A PILOT…

Control Tower: Can you give me your position?

Me: I’m next to a cloud that looks like a lion

Control Tower: Can you be more specific?

Me: Simba

 

[Babstreefern]

Does anyone know for how long you have to cook boil in the bag fish... You don’t get any instructions from the funfair...

I ate lots of Kinder Eggs today...
I’m full of surprises...

The teacher said I could take the class hamster home for the school holidays... Well here I am in South America...

 

[Babstreefern]

For all the people queuing for McDonalds.

I was at the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and a young lady behind me leaned on her horn and started mouthing something because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The McDonalds worker must have told her what I'd done, As soon as i moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed.... "Thank you." obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too. Now she has to go back to the end of the queue and start all over again,

DON'T blow your horn and get rude! Be patient.